The Tooth Fairy

That darn tooth fairy. It seems like she, or he, is falling down on the job. When my 11 year old son first started losing teeth, the tooth fairy arrived like clock work. However, as more teeth came out and his sister started losing teeth as well, it seemed like the fairy had changed her flight pattern.

By the time our third child started to loose her teeth, the quality of the tooth fairy's work had slipped beyond recognition. She became fickle, sometimes taking three or four nights to take the tooth and put the quarters under the pillow.

There also seemed to be a new policy that she didn't visit when daddy was out of town--because, of course, he would want to see the tooth before she took it away.

Her inconsistancies raged on with some teeth being worth 2 dollars, some 5 and, on one occasion, my son woke up to find a 20 dollar bill under his pillow.

The final straw came last night when the tooth fairy left a gift certificate. It was small and written in pink letters on notebook paper that said child #3 was entitled to 2 plastic figures from our local toy store.

That morning we promptly presented our certificate, with little fanfare, to the toy store clerk. He didn't seemed phased as I paid for the other items and he popped the 2 plastic figures into the bag with the rest of the lot. Obviously it wasn't the first time the tooth fairy had left i.o.u.s to children in our small town.

Discussion in Car on the Way Home:

Kid#3: Why does the tooth fairy steal from little kids?

Mom: She doesn't steal from kids.

Kid#3: But she takes your tooth!

Mom: She leaves something in return.

Kid#2: Then it's like you're selling your tooth?

Kid#1: Remember that time I got 20 bucks from the tooth fairy?

Kid#2: That must of been because we were in Canada. That was the Canadian tooth fairy. I hope I lose a tooth in Canada.

Kid#3: How can the tooth fairy get a gift certificate? Where does she get her money?

Kid#2: And how does the man at the store get paid back for the plastic figures?

Mom: I think there must of been a bar code on the certificate.

K2: I didn't see one on there.

Mom: Maybe it's organized with the government.

K2: The tooth fairy is part of the government?

K3: We should go back in there and try to use the certificate again. Maybe we'd get more plastic figures.

K2: How would the tooth fairy be part of the government???

Mom: Who's ready to stop and get some lunch?