5 Ways I Will Lose The Holiday Weight*

*written on my trusty iPhone while I wait for my 2nd annual mammogram

1. I will stop eating Christmas cookies & chocolates as a regular part of my daily diet.
2. Ditto that on eggnog, cocktails and finishing bottles of wine just because they are already opened.
3. I will avoid Midwestern family buffets where all vegetables have been previosly canned, frozen or cooked and laced with MSG, crushed saltine crackers, Campbells mushroom soup, and sprinklings of deep fried onion crisps. This applies only just until next holiday season, though.
4. I will actual get more aerobic exercise than lifting, wrapping and unwrapping gifts. Moreover, I will not consider packing, unpacking, and hefting duffel bags as weight training.
5. I will attend less parties with yummy appetizers and free range chips and dip.