Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year's Resolution? No, Thanks, I've Got My New Year's Diet to Attend To

Every year, I find myself sitting in my kitchen in early January surrounded by the leftover spoils of the holidays. It varies slightly from year to year, but thankfully not all that much. It is from this pool my diet plan begins.

My New Year's Diet (NYD) plan is an easy one. How does it work? Let me tell ya:

1. Eat at least one piece of leftover holiday candy each meal. Quietly work your way through the remaining chocolates first, stale truffles aren't good for anyone.

2. Candy canes are especially good in lattes and hot chocolates. Have at least one of each a day. An added benefit to sugar and coffee is an extra surge of energy to put the Christmas decorations away or face opening bills.

3. Cookies can make a meal. A special shout out to my friend Wendy for sending my the Cherry Republic Boomchunkas. These cookies are packaged in twos. If you eat just one, the other goes a bit crunchy. These cookies are so good that they are even good crunchy, but why would you do that to yourself? Go ahead, eat two. I just did. These also pair excellently with the candy cane hot cocoa mentioned in step 2.

4. Fudge. If you can, hide this early on in the season--that leaves more for you to enjoy in your NYD plan. If the fudge pieces are cut smallish, eat about four. This can be repeated throughout the day. It is especially comforting when you need a pick me up after the bills are opened and spread before you in a sea of hopelessness.

5. Order pizza. After the holidays, pizza is the perfect food. I usually don't get to have it for a couple of weeks. After your complete sugar crash at the end of the day, you don't feel much like cooking anyway. Go ahead. Also, forget trying to provide a vegetable with the pizza. Come on, there is at least tomatoes in the tomato sauce. Baby carrots aren't going to save anyone at this point.

6. Repeat any of the steps several times daily. If you order enough pizza, it could last you for many meals and many days.

7. Also, drink all of the gift wine and champagne that you have left over. Not all at once. Spread it out over the course of your diet with the evening meal.

Good luck. I'm off to have my second candy cane latte, or, oops, make that my third. Happy New Year!

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