Thursday, October 7, 2010

No, You Can't Crash At Our House

I am a "yes" girl. Most of my life, until just recently, I've had a hard time saying no. Need 6 dozen brownies for the Harvest Fair? No problem. Not enough drivers for the field trip, I'll be right there. No one to head up that committee? I'm on it. Want to visit for three weeks this summer? Let me get out that red carpet.

I am getting a little wiser with old age, if you ask a favor and you screw me, I'm done. I won't do it to myself repeatedly like a dime store pony, the next time I will say no. Oh, and you should not look so shocked when I say it.

Over the years, little situations where I've been blatantly taken advantage of have begin to creep into a long list of disturbing occurrences. Frankly, folks, I'm tired. The one thing I did learn from my 6 months of acupuncture was that we all need to find our boundaries and stick to them.

It took a while for me to get my backbone straight, but I really apologize to all of the people who must pay for years of abuse caused by my own ignorance. If you don't ever say no, even if you have the best intentions, you eventually burn out. Big time. So if other people are taking advantage of you and you are taking advantage of you, then you are just doing it to yourself.

Turning over a new leaf slowly, has had its tough realities.

Yesterday, an old work colleague/friend/I'm not really sure what the relationship is/was, texted my husband and asked him to stay at our house. We were not home at the time, we were on a couples getaway. They were set to arrive at the airport at the same time as we landed.

My husband says: Honey, don't you remember so and so.
Me: No, the name sounds familiar, but that was over 12-17 years ago.
Husband: I know you've met.
Me: Did we ever go to their house?
Husband: No.
Me: Did they ever come to our house?
Husband: No.
Me: So, I probably met him at some big party or work function?
Husband: That might be right.
Me: And they are texting today to stay at our house tonight and tomorrow night. We haven't been home all week, I don't think we have any food and you leave tomorrow afternoon to go out of town.
Husband: Uhhhhhhh...
Me: Uhhhhhh, NO!

My house might be a mess, there was no breakfast, it was 10 PM and I could not see how I was going to be a proper hostess.

I said "no."

I apologize to that very nice man and his son. I would have liked to say yes. If my life was just a little bit more normal, I would have said yes. I feel bad about not saying yes.

But, I said "no."

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