Two Beers and a Hot Tub?

Here was tonight's dinner conversation while eating with a good friend:

Me: John (age 12, in Little League) is having trouble with his back.

Birk (age 7): His coach told mommy to have him go home and have two beers and a hot tub.

Good Friend: What?!? What did your mommy say?

Birk: Mommy told the coach that she told John he could have a hot bath and a margarita.

John: Yeah, and the coach said that margaritas don't work because kids don't usually like them.

Oh, boy.

My High Horse: What Are YOU Teaching Your Kids

Although I'm not a gainfully employed teacher at the moment, that was my pre-SAHM profession. I feel thankful to have found a niche of the world that I enjoyed so much and I definitely felt an immediate connection as soon as I entered teacher training.

I taught grades 7,8 and 9 English and Journalism. Then I moved to Canada and took my Montessori teacher training and degree for pre school ages 3-6. I am a bit of a jack of all trades, I enjoy all age groups, but especially love pre school and junior high because it is such a time of transition.

In pre school, a lot of the kids are leaving mom and dad for the first time. They have to navigate a new landscape on their own and figure out how this new world works. Junior high kids are the same--they have to figure out who they are separate from their parents. They start to make tough decisions that challenge their thoughts and ideas.

It really is a fascinating process to witness. That is one of my favorite things about Maria Montessori's philosophy--to observe and not always interfere. My other favorite saying from my Montessori teacher training is "Trust the child."

How often do we not "trust the child?" We rush in. We pre-empt any situation that looks like it could cause pain.

Example: While standing outside the 3rd grade class years ago, a mother approached me close to tears. Her son had not been invited to a birthday party. I told her my son hadn't been invited either. She was all over the emotional board: furious, fretful, sad, incredulous... She was bound and determined to call that mother and give her a piece of her mind, right after she complained to the principal of the school.

What? Here is the skinny. You are not invited to everything in this life. There will be parties, you will hear about them, you'll see pictures on facebook, your feelings will be hurt--but that doesn't change the way of the world. If you teach your kid to wheedle their way in and invite themselves, what are you teaching them? What are you setting them up for later?

I am not invited to stuff all of the time. Of course, sometimes I feel sad about this and left out. However, in the real world, invitations don't always have to do with someone liking you or not liking you. Sometimes, you are standing in the right place at the right time. Sometimes, there are only 8 place settings of china. Sometimes, your friends want to enjoy a different group of people.

I try to tell my kids early on, life is not a popularity contest. What you really have to do, is enjoy your own company. There are so many people that can't even stand themselves that they must fill every moment with a social event or obligation. If you can be happy reading a book or renting a movie, then you can be happy.

10/22/10: Weekly Update, Fridays, Margaritas & Rain

It's been one of those weeks. The biggest problem that I'm having is that every week is turning into one of those weeks. You, know, the kind of week that feels like Tuesday should in fact be Friday. Here is my week in snapshots of conversation...

BIRTHDAY GIFTS FOR 7 YEAR OLDS

Me: Birk, what would you like to get your friend for her birthday?

Birk: Something with lions.

Me: Do you mean like a book or a T shirt?

Birk: Mom, when you were little, did you want books or clothing for your birthday???

PARENT NIGHT FOR FRESHMAN:

Me: How do these kids facebook, text, watch hulu, listen to music and do their homework all at the same time? Am I missing a technical gene?

Mom 1: My kid doesn't have facebook.

Mom 2: Mine, either.

Mom 3: My daughter doesn't even have a cell phone.

Mom 4: I make my kids do homework at the kitchen table while I cook. No electronics.

Mom 2: Well, we certainly don't allow the computer in the bedroom!

Mom 3: Of course not, that would be a foolish thing to do.

HALLOWEEN

Ruth: Mom, you are not allowed to take out the head on a platter and the hanging woman's head until 3 days before Halloween, then you must keep them all in the bathroom with the door closed. Once Halloween is over, they must be put back in the box immediately.

Me: Can I bring them out for a grown up party?

Ruth: Only if you keep them in the bathroom...

HALLOWEEN SHOPPING

Me: Look at this fantastic light up skull. It's super creepy.

Friend: If you get that, Ruth will never sleep again.

Me: I'm putting it back, I'm putting it back!

Now, I'm off to mix Raspberry Margaritas for Margarita Friday. It's raining and creepy here, perfect night for a fire, some candlelight and lots of Halloween decorations!