Monday, February 7, 2011

The Long Slippery Slope

I realize that time is winged. I saw a friend in passing this morning, and we both skirted each other with the same words: we thought things would eventually slow down, but they don't. There is only so much time and only so much you can do. No matter how much you want to. The road to Hell, blah blah blah.

Not to mention the crazy factor. The crazy factor is huge. By this I mean, how much can you handle and not need medication or hospitalization? How much is too much?

I'm starting to feel like this theme raises its head around here over and over. How many ways can you say that too busy is just too busy? How do you trim the towel, without throwing it in?

My house is a hodge podge of evidence of the busy, disjuncted life that we lead. No one has time to really take those old computers to the dump. No one has time to weed through the excess and the outgrown (both adult AND kid).

My husband showing up for dinner is a mixture of shock and surprise. I never plan on him, because he's never here, therefore, there is never really enough food to cover the situation. I am happy to see him, but feel guilty that he's kind of written out of the nighttime storyline.

I'm an adult with ADHD. I was a child with ADHD, but now I'm all grown up and I can tell you it still effects my life in ways that are functional in a disfunctional way. I can do it. I can get it done. It's not always pretty, but here we are.

I am over-caffeinated, sleep deprived and mostly exhausted. I read other blogs and wonder at the fresh ideas and ability to write day after day something brilliant and witty--well, at least something interesting.

Back to the ADHD, my friend says that if I just got the medication, I would be so much more organized and productive. I keep thinking, maybe I just need a different lifestyle? You know, the kind you don't have to medicate yourself for? If I truly slow down, can I enjoy a life that doesn't require medication for me to keep up with it?

My adult friends with ADHD swear by the medication. I would like to avoid that kind of situation, I would like to be able to manage my own situation.

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