My High Horse: What Are YOU Teaching Your Kids

Although I'm not a gainfully employed teacher at the moment, that was my pre-SAHM profession. I feel thankful to have found a niche of the world that I enjoyed so much and I definitely felt an immediate connection as soon as I entered teacher training.

I taught grades 7,8 and 9 English and Journalism. Then I moved to Canada and took my Montessori teacher training and degree for pre school ages 3-6. I am a bit of a jack of all trades, I enjoy all age groups, but especially love pre school and junior high because it is such a time of transition.

In pre school, a lot of the kids are leaving mom and dad for the first time. They have to navigate a new landscape on their own and figure out how this new world works. Junior high kids are the same--they have to figure out who they are separate from their parents. They start to make tough decisions that challenge their thoughts and ideas.

It really is a fascinating process to witness. That is one of my favorite things about Maria Montessori's philosophy--to observe and not always interfere. My other favorite saying from my Montessori teacher training is "Trust the child."

How often do we not "trust the child?" We rush in. We pre-empt any situation that looks like it could cause pain.

Example: While standing outside the 3rd grade class years ago, a mother approached me close to tears. Her son had not been invited to a birthday party. I told her my son hadn't been invited either. She was all over the emotional board: furious, fretful, sad, incredulous... She was bound and determined to call that mother and give her a piece of her mind, right after she complained to the principal of the school.

What? Here is the skinny. You are not invited to everything in this life. There will be parties, you will hear about them, you'll see pictures on facebook, your feelings will be hurt--but that doesn't change the way of the world. If you teach your kid to wheedle their way in and invite themselves, what are you teaching them? What are you setting them up for later?

I am not invited to stuff all of the time. Of course, sometimes I feel sad about this and left out. However, in the real world, invitations don't always have to do with someone liking you or not liking you. Sometimes, you are standing in the right place at the right time. Sometimes, there are only 8 place settings of china. Sometimes, your friends want to enjoy a different group of people.

I try to tell my kids early on, life is not a popularity contest. What you really have to do, is enjoy your own company. There are so many people that can't even stand themselves that they must fill every moment with a social event or obligation. If you can be happy reading a book or renting a movie, then you can be happy.

One Foot On Land, One Foot In The Swamp: Two Things

Thing 1:

Swamp House is looking pretty good. It is getting comfier and cozier every day. It may not even be able to be called "Swamp House" anymore. It is actually better than my own house at this point. Better views. Better appliances. Better finishes. No one ever said that life is fair.

Well, and it is technically our place, but a place is not the same as a home. It's kind of turned into our mini vacation home. We go as a family. The kids play games. I can avoid the mess that is naturally generated in the home of a family of five.

Thing 2:

We have new neighbors renting across the street...again. The homeowners are living on the east coast, so they've been renting out their home for about 3 years. We've had three different families move in and out.

The first time I baked brownies, wrote a little card, knocked on the door and introduced myself. The second time, I introduced myself--gave the family a little card with our contact info.

The first two families we invited to our parties, went out as couples and spent some time together. They were very nice people. Then they all moved and sincerely, we will never see them again.

Now, I'm on the third time around, and I'm tired. Do I need to bake brownies? Show up on the doorstep? I'm generally very welcoming, but for now I'm lazy and crabby and they only are going to live there for 5 months. Can I just smile and wave?

If you know me, sigh, we will bake the brownies and do the whole thing all over again. That's just the way that we are, or I am anyways.

Kicking Coffee To The Curb...Again

At one point during the holidays, I realized that I was on my 5th cup of coffee for the day. To be truthful, I don't even like the taste of coffee, but I sure was liking the added energy it was giving me. My caffeine driven state perked me up enough to get all of the items on the holiday check list checked off.

Many people look forward to the quietude of the New Year, but January is never boring and dull for our household. There is the De-Christmas factor, The Back to School Routine Factor, The Brother and Sister In Law's Birthday Factor, and most of all, The Husband's Birthday Factor.

I am well into 2011 and I was still sucking back the coffee like there's no tomorrow. Sometimes, it was the only thing propping me up and propelling me to the next activity.

On Saturday, I made a conscious decision. I put the coffee machine away. Well, I actually moved it out to the ark. I moved three modes of coffee making out to the ark. I left myself with a kettle and my Raspberry Earl Grey Tea.

I'll let you know how that works out for me, my family, and a thousand little volunteer things that I'm responsible for. I'm optimistic...but I also know it's only a matter of time.

Chivalry Is Not Dead:Thank You Random Stranger

I try to teach my kids the mechanics of being nice and living in a world where they treat others as they wish to be treated.

I teach them to hold the door, even if you have to wait an extra 10 seconds for the person who is coming behind you. I teach them to really think about what they say and how they say it. I also teach them to NOT cut in line at the grocery store and to sometimes let that person behind you with one container of milk go ahead of you.

All of these things are dying arts as far as I can tell. People are rude, more often than not. The door slams in my face. People push their way in front of me in line and pretend not to see me. If a new check stand opens, instead of letting the person waiting the longest go to the new line, people race as if chased by tigers to get there first.

Today, I was loading two rather large folder chairs into my car. They were heavy and awkward, but I was making progress. Along came an old man. OK, I wish there was a better way to say that, but he was elderly. He was shuffling along and looked like he might need a walker.

He shuffled right up to me and said, "Miss, can I help you with that?" I can tell you right now, it was I who felt like I should help him cross the street.

I politely declined, but was secretly delighted that some people still just have good old fashioned manners. My husband is that kind of guy. He will pull the car over and help you change your tire, he will get your kitten out of the tree, and he will wait an extra 10 seconds and hold the door for you.

I hope to teach my kids to do the same. Thank you very nice man wherever you are, you made my day!

The Guest List: Add Your Name to the Ark Roster Now!

The Ark, or Swamp House, is almost finished with its construction odyssey. I've been an errant bloggeress, life is doing it's usually January undertow and I'm going under.

We are setting up camp, so we need to figure out what kind of things we need. You sure think about necessity when you have to drag your worldly possessions out a boardwalk by hand or in a little cart.

The project has turned out beautifully. If you are on the potential guest list, get your request in early... I have this feeling that once someone stays here it's going to be hella hard to get them to leave.

It's better than my house...so it might be me that you'll have to boot out!

Three Kids, Two Adults, One Ski Week

Guess what Midwest folks, Northern Californians are taking a whole extra week of holidays. They call it Ski Week.

Maybe it's stupidly simple, but it is just what is sounds like--a week off to go skiing. Michigan? Are you having Ski Week? Ohio? Let me know, because I did not grow up with this holiday, and every time it comes around, I feel disbelief that there is a whole week off of school devoted to skiing.

Maybe this holiday was created to boost Tahoe tourism? I don't know, but I can tell you, most people I know are headed to the slopes in search of fresh powder.

Anyone out there know how Ski Week became a holiday?

Guest Blogger Ruth's Poem, "I AM"

I AM

I am from cherry pie
and from deep woods exploring
I am from swimming
and two wheeled bikes
I'm from tossing and turning and lat night snacks

I am from Debra and Chris
and from chocolate and hammock
I am from "are you scared?" and "you're so brave!"
I am from "I love you" and "Kiki, dust bust!"
I am from maple syrup and Canada

I am from Barbara and Jerry
I am from coke cans and paint cans
I am also from John and Shirley
from "tough it" and "rough it."
I'm from cats and dogs

I am from walks with dogs
I am from lakes and pools
I am from forests
I am from Earth
I am from...LIFE