Thank You Friends and Family! Our Michigan Trip Part One

There's nothing like a trip to the Midwest that makes you long for a spin class and a trip to the farmer's market. Ruth asked on the way home from the airport, "Why do we have better vegetables in California?"

Yes, even the girls were feeling the yearning for green vegetables. Ruth asked for some beet juice. Go figure.

We had a great time, and I'm including some shots to let you see what our little trip was like:

The grandkids visiting Great Grandma Smith.
The required trip to Kilwin's Chocolates in Ann Arbor. My dad told the salesperson I was engaged in that shop window 19 years ago. She said, "That's very interesting." Her tone said, "Now why would someone do that?" Long, romantic story.
Dinner at the Blue Nile. Birk declared Ethiopian her new favorite food.
Greenfield Village with cousin Maddie.

Mamma Mia with Godmomma Wendy at the Fisher Theater.

Girls on a plane!
Nana on the way to the airport in style!

Canadian Chronicles 2009: Hearing (Alien) Voices

Look carefully at this picture. Please note two things:

1. This picture is taken at the end of the season. During our Augusts in Canada, you would NEVER find this many flashlights in the actual flashlight spot. You are actually guaranteed NEVER to find a flashlight when you need one.
2. The Green Alien Voice Changing Device.

In the picture, it's fairly easy to spot. In real life, you can't miss it. Thank you Godmomma Wendy. This was a birthday gift for John when he was quite young. If you want to give the gift that keeps on giving, give the Alien Voice Changer.

Every one of our children and our friend's children, our friends, their friends and probably the dog has used the Alien Voice Changer. It's been annoying the crap out of everyone for at least eight years.

Three more things to know:

1. It's been designated an "OUTSIDE ONLY" device. This, of course, initially means nothing, you just have to keep on yelling that phrase to get it to go away.
2. It's been forgotten and discovered so many times and used in so many different creative ways, that we have to make new rules for it ALL of the time.
3. It is excellent to awaken teenage boys by younger sisters. Expect bruising and blood.

I don't know where the GM (godmother) found this delightful instrument of torture, but I think I need to find out and send her family one of it's own.

The real reason for the cottage is that you can send all of the obnoxious stuff people give you there--then, you can forget it for the better part of the year. However, then you only use it for one month of the year, and then, kids, well, it lasts almost forever.

Canadian Chronicles 2009: One Good Idea Is All It Takes

It all began, like so many things do, over a glass of wine. My good friend, Paula, and I were wanting for a little adventure in our stay-at-home-mom lives. We only had one glass of wine. If we had two glasses, we might have come to the realization that a girls trip should not include "girls" under the age of 10.

But, as far as we knew, we were planning the getaway of a lifetime. We decided to hit the family Canadian cottage early, before all of the summer guests arrived. We plotted quiet nights, lazy mornings and lots of girl time. Kayaking, frolicking in the water and delicious food danced like visions of sugar plums in our heads.

Reality hit hard and fast. The bickering began on the plane. You might have guessed it, the quarrel was over the window seat.

The window seat has long lost its appeal for me. I now prefer the quick and easy exit of the aisle seat. I love not having to lope over strangers two or three times in a flight to stretch my legs and make a run for the bathroom. This should be why a person might take yoga, so they can bend themselves like a pretzel over the legs, bags, reclined seats and trays between themselves and freedom.

However, when you are seven, the window seat holds the magic of the fluffy clouds and the people and places as tiny as ants. The world looks nice and tidy when you are gliding over the geometry that bisects and trisects the landscape. The most mighty of reasons the window seat rules you may ask? When you have it, no one else does.

This theme popped again and again throughout the trip. Possession is 9/10ths of the law, and when someone else has something, that makes it all the more important that you have it, too. When you don't have it, and you are a girl under a certain age, the whining can turn an 8 hour trip into at least 16 hours.

When we got off the plane and got the rental car, the girls started to fight about who had to sit in the middle seat. Paula and I looked at the mountain of bags--we were going to have to work a small miracle to fit them in the car. Our eyes sagged with fatigue, and the whining, the whining, the whining, kept right on going.

We still had a two hour drive and the task of picking up a kayak and strapping it to the roof. Girls getaway? Are we there yet?

The Table: Part 1 of Many

I have a table. I am thankful for this table. It belonged to my husband's great, great grandmother. It was passed on down and around from all the members of my husband's family and has landed in our kitchen. Permanently.

I have lived with said table for almost 16 years. It is time to pass it on.

How can I say that, you might ask? How could I be eager to pass on such a beloved heirloom? Ahhh, but this seems to be the hot potato of tables, and everyone has been eager to pass it. Now it's my turn.

People, it is falling apart. The middle sags. The top is splintered--and not in a cute antique shop distressed kind of way. The legs are so short that you can't get your own legs under the table when you are sitting at it.

It is not comfy and it sits in the center of my life right, smack dab in the middle of my kitchen. I keep it covered to protect it's modesty at all times with a tablecloth. While I would like to replace this old mare, I do respect her and am happy to have made her acquaintance.

However, my husband loves this table. He has threatened to divorce me if it was to be, say, magically replaced one day without his knowledge. I am a very sentimental girl, but what used to be once just a discussion about this table has turned into much more.

The more I dig in, the more he digs in. We are both of the most stubborn stock, so now it's a battle of the wills.

It would make a great desk. A lovely occasional table. (I'm personally not allowed to move it to another location out of the kitchen). Any relatives reading? Need a table? I'm sure if I found it a good home...

Ruth's Rant: Babysitting and Family Vacation in Cabo San Lucas

Mexico is a place for relaxing, playing on the beach, and watching sunsets. Sounds fun. Try sharing that with 5 other kids! Having to babysit you and your friend's little sister? Disaster-zone!

 

After my experience with my little sister, I wasn't surprised when Birk piled her plate with dessert at the dinner buffet. I guess with a crazy little sis, like Birk the tornado kid, I learn more stuff like how to babysit her in a hotel room with absolutely  no good T.V. shows or A.N.E (absolutely NO ENTERTAINMENT).

 

Are boys more responsible than girls?  Ask my older brother after he and his friend left my friend's 5 year-old little sister unattended in a hotel room. Please note that they were supposed to be babysitting.

thus concludes vacation.

written by Ruth

5th grade

10 years old

Travel Compatability

The first holiday debate ended amicably years ago. We chose a civilized approach to the holidays and trade off celebrating with each side of the family each year.  It is very predictable and works very well for all concerned.

The other classic debate we have is over travel: do you fly the red eye or do you take the 6 am flight?

I get no sleep either way, so I might as well fly the red eye and have my kids at least sleep while we are making time to our destination.

I think this is much the same debate that parents have about night drives. Do you drive all night to take advantage of the peace and quiet of sleeping children? I grew up with a night driver, so I, of course like this idea.

George is a day driver. He is a speeding, maniac day driver. He has the tunnel vision of a coal miner with a headlight. He points the car in the direction of the destination and it takes a medical emergency or natural disaster to steer him off course. This includes use of the bathroom and eating.

If you need to go the bathroom, you have to make it abundantly clear that it's an emergency and you have to do it at the first twinge. If you are not direct and clear on this front, you could wind up trying to pee into a ziplock bag, and this is very tricky and mostly doesn't work. 

In my family, eating is one of the best parts of a road trip. You buy all of the secret forbidden snacks and proceed to eat them randomly and continuously for the duration of the road trip. Of course, rules dictate that the trip must be over four hours in order to buy entire bags of doritos and assorted childhood favorite candies that you no longer allow yourself to buy in public daylight.

Shorter trips beckon fast food restaurants with poutine, onion rings and double cheeseburgers with bacon. I used to buy my snacks on the road from shady gas stations, but now I have to pre-hoard.  There is no hairy eyeball to contend with from George if I pre-plan my menu.

This man believes in not eating the whole trip. You don't get the big gulp or the supersize fries, because then it warrants the aforementioned stop at the bathroom. Why would one leave their speed train and have to pass all of the semi trucks that you just got around again? You eat when you get there, even if it takes 7 hours.

Over the years, I've corrupted him a bit.  He's put me more on the straight and narrow.  The best thing about 15 years plus of marriage is that you can prepare and strategize for the arguments or roadblocks ahead of time.

I'll tell you one thing: if you try to pee one time in a ziplock bag and it doesn't work, your husband is more likely to make a genuine pitt stop in the future.